This whole Ancestor veneration thing…we European-Americans are still re-membering and re-creating what we do and when we do it. We may know much of our family trees but we still aren’t quite sure how far to take this “Ancestors are the Reason for the Season” stuff.
I was in the grocery store last night and started eyeing some of the things I will need when I go out to the cemeteries later this month. Coconut cake was on sale and I probably should have gotten one for my mother’s grave but I am taking a chance that I’ll be able to make a small one from scratch.
I’ll make some green beans and chicken for my grandmother and pour her second husband (my step-grandfather but the only grandfather I ever knew) a big shot of Ancient Ancient Age. My great grandparents on that side will also get beans and chicken, as well as some strong coffee.
When I head out to the cemetery that holds the bones of my mother’s father’s people, I’ll be a little more generic. I didn’t know any of them personally, or even through family lore. So, I’ll bring them cornbread with butter and honey and leave small cubes of that on their many graves.
I’ll go visit my father’s father and mother at the cemetery near Enka Lake and I’ll bring them chicken and beans and corn bread. I remember visiting there when my father was still alive and it was always a little shocking to see his name (actually his father’s) on the grey stone. I didn’t know my grandfather but did spend some time with my grandmother but not enough to know much about her.
I wonder what my daughter will leave for me? A Guinness probably and maybe some buttery pound cake.
How about you? How will your Descendants feed you when you become an Ancestor?
I think my descendents will know to leave me ice cream.
You are so lucky to have that cemetery — my relatives are buried all over the US (or just sitting in urns on mantle pieces) and some I don’t even know where. But I imagine for my paternal grandfather, it would be French toast. My maternal grandmother would get doughnuts. I wouldn’t know what to leave for anyone else.
For me, I’d want chicory coffee and German chocolate cake. That would definitely be nice.
Mmmmm, German chocolate cake.
For my in-laws, who are buried in the cemetery right down the street, I will leave a bit of their favorite foods and drink. For my mother-in-law, I also spritz the air above her grave with her favorite perfume. My other family graves are too far away, so I make the offerings and libation at a place I consider to be a portal. I try to include their favorite things, and sometimes I add a special stone too.
I.mm going to stick to favorite fruits; Granny Loudermilk – scupernons,
Mom peaches, Dad Apples and black berries, but grandpa Loudermilk will get some hoarhound candy sticks. Every body liked nuts, chesnuts, hickory nuts, chinkapins, pecans, walnuts, peanuts . . . but alas for, my sister Kathryn – nothing will do for her but Chicken and Dumplings.